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UnderTheFunkyTable
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Metro: Houston
Interests: I Didn’t think I’d ever need to be censored, but I should never underestimate what people complain about on the internet. I started this Blog because to many of my family members were complaining about my content on FunkyTable. Apparently they want watered down stories and jokes that are less honest and relevant. So if you don’t like my outlandish, sarcastic, ridiculous, outrageous and sometimes rude sense of humor, or if you don’t want to hear my honest thoughts, then PLEASE don’t read this blog. I don’t want to have to start a blog called FunkyTableUnderground. This blog is NOT meant to replace Funkytable, it will only be for entries that offend some people who read Funkytable (You guys remember the Shane Debacle?), or uncut entries from Funkytable. I will use Funkytable a whole lot more than this blog, this one is just for uncensored entries, but I assure you, I am not going to put anything on here rated higher than PG-13 (but you should know that already)
Expertise: Making fun of pop culture, being honest,
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/20/2005
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| Scary
Today I got a real scare. Stephanie called me from work and told me she threw up in class, but didn't know why. Normally this wouldn't scare me, but this was the usual day for her monthly visitor to arrive, and she was throwing up, FOR NO REASON SHE COULD FIGURE OUT. For the rest of the day, I sat at work shaking in fear with the idea of DaDa being my new name before the close of 2006.
But when we got home, we figured out Steph was not pregnant.
[shudder]
Currently Reading: Fear Agent - It ROCKS
Current Music: Rush - A Farewell to Kings | | |
| AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
AN ANT BIT MY NUTSACK!!!!!! | | |
| Ok, now hopefully a few people have subscribed to my new blog where I can be free of the complaining of pansies. This blog is NOT meant to replace Funkytable, this will only be for entries that offend some people who read Funkytable (You guys remember the Shane Debacle?), or uncut entries from Funkytable. I will use Funkytable a whole lot more than this blog, this one is just for uncensored entries, but I assure you, I am not going to put anything on here rated higher than PG-13 (but you should know that already), just crap like this:
Hard Calculus?
Found this on Google and I just had to share it.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7172438422483406719
Apparently showing Playmate cleavage while teaching college review courses is effective and marketable. Maybe Stephanie should try this with her 6th grade science class, what do you think?
Currently Reading: V for Vendetta - Alan Moore (Not very far into it but good)
Current Music: Still CCR (The RIGHT kind)
Entries like the one above would offend Stephanie's Grandpa or my little brother, but if it doesn't offend you, then subscribe to this Blog.
One more thing, the entry below is the uncensored version of my LJ Christmas entry.The two differences are an accurate yet harsh description of my mother in law's voice, and a story about her confusion over the sexual orientation of the band Rush, both of which are in bold. | | |
| A Christmas in LJ
Steph and I went down to Lake Jackson this weekend to have Christmas with my newly extended family for the first time. I had a blast. We got to hang out with Steph's older brother Darren as well as my mother and father in law Diana and Doug. I also got to go to the annual Westbrook Christmas party, which is pretty much a bunch of small town folk ages spanning from newborn to over eighty getting together to talk about the good ole times and what not.
I still don't have a very strong emotional attachment with these people, I didn't know over half of their names, and Stephanie didn't know about 25% of them, so I was in no rush to meet everyone. Mostly it's just an enjoyable time to show each other the latest card tricks and try to get them to bet their car (we didn't win any cars this year), eat lots of fattening food to work off after the new year, watch amusing old people tell exagerated stories, and the gift exchange.
The gift exchange is like a traditional White Elephant game, except serious presents are given rather than joke presents. All the women bring a present a woman would like and the men bring a present a man would like, then we all draw numbers and when your number comes up, you can pick a package or steal. Anyway I just got a wallet I didn't want, so I gave it to someone who needed one. Stephanie got a Christmas tea set (she loves cups, but DON'T BUY HER ANY, we have enough)
After the Chritmas party we just went home and talked with Darren for a few hours, then we had dinner and exchanged gifts with Steph's immediate family. My inlaws gave me not one or two, but no less than three Rush albums this weekend for Christmas. They are truley awesome. I guess they got the idea that I like Rush since my entire Chritmas list composed of the new Foo Fighters EP, 2 video games, an Electric Dictionary, and then around 16 Rush Albums. (Since I'm a new fan)
I have asked for various different albums through the years, I would usually get at least one CD every Christmas, and it has become something of a Christmas tradition for me to play whatever music I got on the family stereo right after we finish with presents. This is different from the rest of the year because I usually don't play my music on the family stereo. My parents and siblings don't enjoy the same kind of music I do, although I do recall one year that my Dad bought me a Rolling Stone's compilation. Anyway, it was fun to carry on that tradition with my new family by obnoxiously playing my new Rush albums any chance I got on their DVD player. But as it turns out, my Mother in Law likes Rush. Who'd a thunk it?
There were three moments for the Book of Funny Things Mom's Say this weekend that are just to good not to share. First we all ordered pizza Saturday night, we got a deal by ordering three pizzas but there were only four of us so we just ate two. Around 10:30 Kara came over and the Darren and Steph's parents went to bed while Kara Steph and I talked till around midnight. The following day at lunch Diana asked Stephanie in her loud overbearing slightly hick voice "Did yall eat that Pizza?" and that made everyone else laugh hard as we couldn't understand why anyone would eat more food after the Christmas party and dinner.
The second was only funny to me. Diana tends to think Stephanie and I are slightly odd, not in a bad way at all though. She tends to get confused by certain things we do or enjoy in a very I don't understand this generation way. A good example of this is that she couldn't understand any of the jokes from Stephanie's Will Farrell SNL DVD. When we told her that if we ever have a daughter (Note: We are not Pregnant) we both like the name Aurora. She was shocked and said "A-roar-A?" She couldn't understand why anyone would want to name their daughter Aurora. She went on to say "I can't even say that correct, I'll have to call her by her middle name or something." It was funny.
The third was by far the best, and it was caught on video. While I was obnoxiously playing one of my new Rush albums I asked Diana if she liked the woman's singing voice. The lead singer of Rush, Geddy Lee, is (in)famous for sounding like a woman. Stephanie laughed and told everyone that it was really a man singing and then Diana asked "Are they a bunch of Fags?" Everyone was shocked, and everyone laughed.
And that raps it up for the fun I had this past weekend in Lake Jackson. I hope everyone else writes about what they did for Christmas.
Currently Reading: Spider-Man: The Other, Evolve or Die - It's the best crossover I've ever read
Current Music: Rush - Grace Under Pressure | | |
| YOU STINKING COMPLAINERS!
To many people have complained about the content (That could only be classified as pg content I might add) on my other Xanga sight, so I've created this blog to dump my thoughts on. If you don't like it, don't read it. | | |
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